Do Positive Affirmations Work? How to Write Ones You Can Actually Believe

I use affirmations every day. In my book I suggested pairing them with something you already do, such as brushing your teeth, washing the dishes or climbing the stairs, because that is how a sentence turns into a habit. I also wrote that they are especially powerful when you say them to your reflection in the mirror, and that with every repetition your mind resists a little less.

Read that again: at the beginning, the mind resists. Most lists of affirmations leave this out. You say “I am confident and successful” to the mirror, and a small voice answers: really? Research explains where that voice comes from, and for whom it gets louder.

In my book Courage on the Journey of Happiness, affirmations belong to the challenge about daily relaxation of the mind, next to breathing and meditation. Here is what I'd add today, as a happiness economist who still uses them.

What are positive affirmations?

Positive affirmations are short sentences you say or write to yourself, usually in the present tense, about who you are or who you are becoming: “I can handle this”, “I am allowed to rest”. In my book I called them simply sentences we say to ourselves.

Psychologists study something related but different, called self-affirmation: people reflect on a value that matters deeply to them, such as family, honesty or creativity, often by writing a few lines about why. Much of the encouraging research on affirmations is really about this quieter kind.

Do affirmations work?

The most quoted study is also the most sobering. In 2009, psychologists Joanne Wood, Elaine Perunovic and John Lee first confirmed that many people use positive self-statements and trust them. Then they put one to the test. Participants repeated the sentence “I'm a lovable person” to themselves, and in a second experiment focused on the ways it was true. People with high self-esteem felt better afterwards, but only slightly. People with low self-esteem, arguably the ones who needed it most, ended up feeling worse, in mood and about themselves, than similar people who hadn't repeated it. Those who were invited to consider how the sentence was both true and not true of them fared better¹.

So the honest answer is: sometimes. A sentence far from what you believe may do nothing, or even hurt. A sentence you can accept, especially one built on what you value, has better support.

Why do affirmations sometimes backfire?

Wood and her colleagues suggested that a positive statement which clashes with how you see yourself can trigger contradictory thoughts, and those can drown out the positive ones. In my book I wrote that the inner critic never sleeps. Tell it “I am completely confident” on a day you feel small, and it will hand you a list of evidence to the contrary.

That is why an affirmation can't replace looking at an old belief. If “I'm not good enough” has been running for decades, a cheerful sentence on top of it rarely holds; the belief underneath needs attention first. I write about that in how to change your mindset and in my article on limiting beliefs. And if your negative self-talk is constant and heavy, not only on bad days, please don't try to fix it with sentences alone: a qualified psychologist or therapist can help.

Positive, present, personal… and plausible

In my book I gave three simple rules: an affirmation should be positive, saying what you want rather than what you don't; in the present tense; and personal, about you. I still stand by them, but research has taught me to add a fourth P: plausible, a sentence your mind can accept without a fight.

That is why I suggest affirmations that begin with “I am learning to…”, “I am allowed to…” or “I choose…”. They describe a direction rather than a finished miracle. “I am confident” may start an argument with your inner critic; “I am learning to trust my own judgement” usually doesn't.

To begin with, it is important to express a clear intent and desire to improve, to tell yourself that you can do it and bravely move forward, one step at a time.

What happiness research says about affirmations

As an economist who has spent many years studying happiness, I'm encouraged that the strongest evidence points to something gentler than slogans. In 2025, Yunian Zhang, Minhong Wang and their colleagues combined 129 tests from 67 published articles on self-affirmation in everyday, non-clinical groups. They found small but real benefits for how people see themselves, for general and social well-being, and for lowering psychological barriers, and the benefits lasted beyond the moment itself². Most of the studies involved college students, so I hold the details lightly.

A decade earlier, Tracy Epton, Peter Harris and their colleagues pooled 144 experiments in which people first reflected on what mattered to them and then received uncomfortable information about risks in their own habits. Self-affirmation made people a little more open to the message, more ready to change and more likely to actually do so³. Small effects again, but consistent.

Why might this help? Christopher Cascio, Emily Falk and their colleagues looked inside the brain. Adults who reflected on their most important value, especially when they pictured it in their future, showed more activity in areas linked to the self and to reward than adults who reflected on a value that mattered little to them⁴.

How you speak to yourself matters too. In seven studies with nearly 600 people, Ethan Kross and his colleagues found that addressing yourself by name or as “you”, rather than “I”, helped people see a coming stressful moment more as a challenge than a threat⁵. None of this means a sentence can bring you a new job; that question belongs to does manifesting work. What affirmations can change is how you meet your day.

How to write affirmations that work: seven gentle steps

This is how I would write affirmations today, combining my book with what research suggests.

1. Start from a value, not a wish. What matters most to you right now: freedom, family, honesty, creativity, kindness? Write two or three sentences about why. That is close to how researchers usually test self-affirmation.
2. Check the four P's. Positive, present, personal and plausible. “I won't panic” becomes “I can stay calm enough to take the next step”.
3. Say it aloud and listen. If something in you tightens or says “oh, please”, soften it with “I am learning to…” or “More and more…” until the protest quietens.
4. Use your own name. “Kate, you have done hard things before” lands differently from “I can do hard things”. A little distance helps.
5. Tie it to something you already do. Brushing your teeth, making coffee, climbing the stairs. For that minute you are also fully in the present moment, not in tomorrow's to-do list.
6. Meet yourself in the mirror, gently. If speaking to your reflection feels too much at first, start with a smile. One small challenge in my book is simply to laugh at yourself in the mirror.
7. Pair the sentence with one small action. “I am learning to speak up” means little until you say one honest sentence at the next meeting. Action makes the sentence believable.

Positive affirmations for women: twelve you can believe

Many of the women I work with don't need louder sentences. They need kinder, truer ones. Change the words until they sound like you, and choose one or two as your daily affirmations, not all twelve.

• “I am learning to trust my own judgement.”
• “I am allowed to rest before everything is done.”
• “My needs matter as much as everyone else's.”
• “I can say no kindly and still be a good person.”
• “I don't have to earn love by being useful.”
• “I am becoming the woman I want to be, one choice at a time.”
• “It is not too late for me to begin.”
• “I have handled hard things before, and I can handle this.”
• “I choose what matters to me today.”
• “I can feel afraid and still take the next step.”
• “I am learning to speak to myself the way I speak to a friend.”
• “Today, one small step is enough.”

A sentence can open a door, but walking through it takes practice, time and people around you who walk the same path. That is the heart of my programme Permission for Life. Start with one honest sentence, and let your days slowly prove it true.